Grandfather - Taja Kuleh 1930-2016

11-7-2016

A date i could never forget my whole life. That day at 6.30 pm he left us. Recall back week before that monday, I knew my grandfather was in my hometown. I get to know it because my sister posted their picture in instagram going for road trip to Bintulu & Bakun. 

One thing i do not know is he flew to my hometown because he got his asthma attack. Right after he touchdown my sister brought her to the hospital and he feel much better. However, he did not went back. My mother seems like not wanted he go back so fast. So, he was delayed to stay my home. They brought him for the road trip and also went to places around my hometown.

Then, one day he felt so bad that he shout for my brother. My sister feel so weird cause he never did that before. There he goes feeling suffocating. His asthma attack invaded him badly that when they rushed him to the hospital, he needed to grab on the car handle to hold it.

General hospital is not taking things serious. Patient seems to be overloaded and there is no space for him to be admitted to the hospital. It took around 2-3 hours just to get him a bed space in a ward with mixed patient (with one skin allergy patient). 

Upon the 3rd days in the hospital, he doesn't seems to show a better sign. His lung was infected. His breathing is heavier than before. He is tired. His muscle is sore. He told my sister about it. Until that night the doctor suggest to do tubing. Put him to sleep and let his lung recover. Also, he would not be too tired to breathe.

The moment i heard they want to do this, I have a super bad feeling. It was so painful to have all the tube down the throat. In addition, I see no hope in that. I even told my sister whether they could just take it out and make him wake up. My uncle and aunty consecutively reach to pay him a visit. Well, at least i thought, let him know that his sons and daughters is right here. (they came cause doctor shows no positive comment towards his illness)

Then funny thing happened on 11-7-2016 morning. I saw my wechat, dad messaged me and at family group! One second i thought is this for real, then I wait no time but message my sister and tell them! I could never imagine we actually could tell dad that grandpa is very much ailing and is now in the hospital. He contacted us at a right time. He called back and have conversation with mum. Mum must be so overwhelmed. Dad decided to come back to see grandpa. In the afternoon, last sibling in the family, my aunt from labuan also reached hospital. My mum also mentioned to grandpa at his ears that daddy is coming back to see him.

As my dad decided to come back, i also choose to go back to see him. I booked the next day flight which cost super expensive because it was still in the peak raya season. But, I just want to see him. On that day, I was busy updating with my family and could not concentrate much on work. That night i had already date with my bf and his family to go for dinner so i have to leave on time. I did not check my phone. 6.30pm i went to apply leave with my supervisor and get him sign for the leave form. I said i want to go back hometown to visit my grandpa. He approved. I pack up my stuff and call my bf saying im coming to him. I also wonder why my voice so shattered when i called him. He thought i cried. Along the way to dinner place i have conversation with him, even speculate what will happen if my grandpa pass away.

1 hours passed. 

I just finished my dinner when i realise my phone is blinking(silent mode with no vibration). I received a call from my sister. Crying. Call out my name and said where am i. I stunted. I apologised. Then, my sister voice shaking, telling me, grandpa already leave us. I could not cried cause im with my bf parents. I hung up. Calmly tell them my grandpa has passed away. I burst into tears when im in the car heading home. I just feel bad for not knowing how much missed call i received and i just got the news after hours. 

The moment is the most heart breaking moment in my life. 

My uko laki who is such a cool person. Stubborn but cute. Very supporting person. Doesn't create drama. Loves coffee with lots of condensed milk. 

Now, he is gone.

Next time when i wanted to get married, he would not be able to see it. Thats my regret. For not able to let him see any of his grandchild get married. Also, I have no more grandpa in this world. 

Uko, how are you up there? x