Anger Management

 Morning, it was suppose to be a beautiful day because tomorrow is weekend. 

However, my day started with sucks.

Me and bf had planned to be early bird so that we could off for breakfast (night before). So, i woke up 15 mins earlier than the other 4 days. End up the rain decided to fall slowly and become bigger. hurm. I have a bad feeling. I want to go for breakfast. But bf said it would be troublesome for having go through the rain (in and out the car) just for breakfast. 

That is when i start to feel irritated. I do not know how to handle my own anger. I am mad. I choose to not question or asking more because i was scared i would get the answer that would even hurt me more (although i am very much hurt right now for the fact of cannot go out for breakfast).

So, 

I cook myself instant noodles and make myself a cup of hot milo. 

Still, i could not calm myself down even though i was pampered by food.

The way i express my anger/madness this time round is using the typical method, remain silent. 

I just dont feel like to talk to the bf. At any circumstances RIGHT NOW. Well, as usual if i do not express my anger of cannot having breakfast outside because rain, he never know. tsk!

It feels so sucks that my inside is burning, all the way. It burns even more when we're on the way to work. Since weekdays here in Johor is Mon-Thurs so, friday is a free traffic day. Happened to be he drive and fcuk my life he speeding all the way. 

I reached office at 7.33am. Guys i start my work at 9am. Normal day i would reach at 7.50am.

It's a happy Friday. Duh not for me today. At least let me reach as normal day i would not feel so frustrating over everything NOW.

I certainly have this kind of temper. I get mad so so easily if thing doesn't goes right or over small thing (in others eyes). If nothing goes with the plan. After living for 24 years, i am unable to cope with my temper. It came quick, unreasonable, tolerance level zero...just dont come and talk with me.

If it is worse, i would become more irritating. I would start to get angry and talk/thrown out all the unhappiness in me. And be one of those : I DONT GIVE A DAMN! attitude.

There will always be a calm after the storm. That is when i would regret over all what i did for could not hold on to my anger. So much regret. 

So, what should i do now? I am still made and i did not express it in words yet. Therefore, i choose to write it down here. Just help me go through this today. Ugh sucks day today. Enough for ranting. Bye. 

#nolucktoday