Fall

Sometimes, when you only show your one side to people, they would thought how beautiful is your world and how lucky are you. However, no matter how, the dark side is there. I have mine too. I am blessed, with my life right now. But, I have come to realisation that my work performance does not really giving an improvement recently. Or maybe in others eyes, it was far weak than others. I always have this problem, I have problem loaded things in my head. I tends to get overthink and stressed until i am unable to handle it sometime. Therefore, at this moment, i would choose to move it out from my head or in from left ear and out from the right in instance. This is bad, so bad when I was having brain malfunction. Things get even worst when you have this during a discussion, nah, best of luck. I feel so bad. I am not sure whether it was me trying to find some excuses or anything, but i really cant have a well function-ing brain at that very moment. I would always choose to think when im back, which mean in tha discussion is just input from the other person while me trying to digest as many i could. I totally have no idea what would they think as i have not giving any constructive ideas or suggestion for my own problem. Sigh. The funny thing is the brain will retrieve its function after a long time and i would start to regret why i have not thought of it just now, this and that. Plainly, sucks.

It's mentally breakdown but physically displays the opposite. I am so unsure of myself again and again.....