What's on my mind right now.

Opps im here just because i'm having this pre-exam syndrome again. Im going to sit for my english paper on Wednesday afternoon but i got nothing much to study on it and feel so insecure. I scared i might wasting my time so i was trying to arrange my time to study for the leftover two paper which is counted as core subject so it's somehow much challenging compare to english. However, My heart just feeling not right and i got distracted every time im trying to focus. I cannot differentiate the priority again. I feel bad for not studying english but i really dont know what material to study again; if i study the other subject i will keep thinking that i should maybe study for english although it seems nothing much to do...GAH this is me. It happens all the time and it makes my mind like a spiderweb and indecisive.

while typing here i still could not figure out what should i actually do...see i am wasting my time here T__T

but but but...
allow me..i need some path for me to find peace and have my mind calm and able to think wisely again.

okayy maybe i should talk about other thing~

Frankly, recently i have been playing too much because the gap to the next paper is still far. I spent my weekend wildly~ doing it like a boss, having a vacation. Spent much of my time with my loves one. THEN, when monday comes, i feel guilty for not touching the books. ILL i never missed doing this and this is making me sick. (but i still DID IT!!!!)

I think i should have practice praying more often. I think i had forgotten about praying due to too much of entertainment. Last time when i practice reading bible and praying, i dont have too much problem because i have capsule from Him. Every night before sleep, i read and i gained. It's like a skin routine, you put on your skin care product every night before sleep and the next morning you will feel so good seeing your skin still mosturize and it just made your day start with a good mode. So when it comes to praying and bible it apply the same concept. I will feel energetic and motivated. Whenever i feel lost, sad or any defect in my mind and heart, i seek for Him. Then i move my whole attention to the bible, i read and read and read.....i dont have to really understand on the spot, i feel the calmness, the secure, deep in my heart...and i feel my life is actually good enough. Nothing to be argue on, I just being emotional and dont know how to control it. Also, the part i said i dont have to fully understood the context of the bible is because when i repeat the reading i found it easier to get the meaning so even u done reading but when you repeat you never get bored. You will still feel fresh and feeling new after all.

Haaa maybe i should not be facing my laptop instead, I might have to spend my little time with my bible and prayer. Hopefully i recover soon and can focus with study soon. May God bless me ya and al you guys out there! Nanight!!

p/s: no matter what religion you are in right now, do pray okay!^_^ muah

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